owed you - past due

i used to say

i used to think

i used to believe

i used to crave

i used to want

i used to know

"what living for someone else feels like"

living for you was easier

living for others was all i knew

living for you was all i was soon enough

living for you

oh it gave me the blues

i knew it all too well

its living through hell

i do not recommend this

trust me you dont want this

it was a lie i was taught since childhood

since birth

that living for me was selfish

that im here to torment myself with

having to live for and please others

having to live for and please you

that i owed you

but i finally told you

"i used to think and believe that i owed you

that i owed you everything

that i owed you my life"

you thought and believed so too

i continue

"but that is your favorite lie

and its time for that lie to die."

- a 16-year-old girl who's never lived for herself