not like this

i longed for the Ocean, i guess you heard but never listened because you gave me rips and currents, crashing waves, and a freezing ice-cold face. treading water to try and be saved, drowning underneath, unable to breathe, unable to be. as if i was made to feel this very real and overwhelming sense of belonging. i craved the open free sea but instead, you gave me the cold bottomless empty abyss. but i never wanted it like this. i never wanted you like this. i never longed for this. i never craved for this. so why must i take the blame for this? why must i take the blame for being his?

it just doesn't make sence- i don't deserve this penance, not at your expense.

so.

i say goodbye to the ocean with a blow of a kiss, don't worry you're something i've learned not to miss.