Sunflower

you make me wanna live forever, you make me want to never come back down from this high that I’m always on with you. I thought love could never be this freeing or alive, I thought id never be able to fill this void in my chest that longed for intimacy; that has been searching for closeness since I was born. we all have a purpose and most of us spend our whole lives away trying to find what that is, trying to find meaning in everything that we do, but me? I found it at 17, I found it at the very fragile age of 17 when I had nothing left, when I was finally all used up, I found it when I was utterly and terribly alone, I found it in a stranger, I found it in a fraction of his face that I only saw a couple times at first, I found it in his baby blue crystal soft eyes, I found it in that damn near perfect crooked smile of his, I found it in the small amounts of care that he gave me, that not even my friends for years could spare me. He taught me how to keep living, he taught me how to be me again. see I lost myself completely when he came and saved me from my own vacancy, I was collapsing into myself like a dying star losing all beauty, light and mystery that I used to have. I was breathing but I wasn't living, I wasn't dead but I wasn't alive either. my heart was beating but I didn't have one left. I was a lifeless corpse with no reason to keep going, dry, and surrounded by my own fear and insecurities. and thats when he waltzed right into my life with a kind of joy that I could feel just by looking at him, he was the type of person that you just know lived every moment to its fullest. his eyes screamed tenderness,-each time he smiled he dropped a seed in my barren chest, his laughter grew those seeds, and his care watered my increasingly small garden. his words shone upon my darkened hallow chest like the sun upon a sunflower for the first time; begging to be alive, longing for meaning, turning to face that which brings life to its golden-rayed petals. his beautiful ashy hair the color of my dreams, his skin; holding the warmness of a hug that you so desperately need when everything is gone and you have nobody to hold you, the softness of love itself. he filled my gloomy skies with colors I had never seen before. He was the complete and and utter definition of everything good and wild in this world. He was good.


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